just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
