$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize