Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize