A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
