Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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