I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
