You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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