He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I stole a fireplace last night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
