Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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