I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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