Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
