You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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