I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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