you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize