was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
