his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
