but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize