oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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