so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
