Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
even my farts smell like vagina
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
