Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
