you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
