If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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