but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
