he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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