Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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