my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my shit smells like andre
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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