Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
