dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We're too hungover to prance.
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