So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
