Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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