I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
