Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
