tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
