I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
