I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize