i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
