I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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