I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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