He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize