I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
