Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
