my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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