That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So vagazzling was a success
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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