dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
