We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
