idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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