He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
