Someone shit on the floor
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
