the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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