you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
