i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
