the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
