yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If I die, sorry about rent.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
