If that was your dad, he is hot
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
