I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
