guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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