i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
