what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
