i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Randomize
