Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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