Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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