Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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