I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
