you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
