Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
pray to the hookup gods
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize