she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
